Attachment- when we talk or hear about this word there’s always a positive feeling that we get. People say the world is selfish and they live their own lives and always compete to be number 1. But in a world full of competition there’s something called ‘attachment’ which still exists and can bring a great change in one’s life. Not to forget that everything has both good and bad effects. Talking about attachment it can be with anyone be it with a friend, a mother, a lover, a pet or anyone. It’s a wonderful feeling. It happens very rarely that one gets to feel true attachment and bond. It is not just some ordinary friendship it is more than that. People who never had someone to talk to and to share things with tend to be very silent and secretive and when they meet someone who listens to them, cares about them, appreciates them for who they are, that’s when space is made for attachment with that person. They start feeling connectivity and want to experience that feeling more and more. And with connectivity, there’s a lot more that goes in the mind. They start feeling confident, secure and excited. One thing for sure, a sense of security is felt instantly in a way that they are not alone anymore. They start releasing the burden and believe that now they can relax and can enjoy the feeling of being secured. They start opening up and share their responsibilities and just trust the other person to look up to and share the hard times with. One gets ecstatic about having conversations with that person. They wait eagerly to meet that person and they try their best to do everything that the other person likes in order to make that person stay for a longer period and at times for life long too.
The attachment also varies from person to person. Few attach easily while few don’t even think about it. In fact, who don’t think about it are the ones who really need someone to get attached to. They think that they are too bad to get attached to someone or they are too tough to understand so they try maintaining distance and don’t cross the line of being comfortable with others. They avoid getting close to anyone and hardly talk but once they find someone whom they can connect to and speak to that’s when they get the true feeling of attachment. They’d never want them to go. Now, there are different reasons for attachment and the most common ones are
1) The ones who were being abandoned by their parents and family members in their childhood. Now, these people crave for the love and want to get over loneliness so they get attached to people easily and are vulnerable. They try to find their need for attention and love in others.
2) The ones who are attracted to shiny attributes like they love the qualities they get attracted to and get attached on that basis which most of the time turn out to be wrong and bad in the upcoming years. In other words, lust or infatuation.
3) Ones who are not happy and fulfilled by their own self. They think they can’t keep themselves happy so they try looking for it in other people and once they find someone they get attached and are ready to do everything for their dear ones and even if it is wrong, they’ll do it. Basically, they stop being logical and don’t care about themselves. They start believing that they can’t be happy being single or alone. They constantly need someone to be there for them.
4) Last and my favorite is the ones who get attached to their own selves and don’t require anyone else to bring happiness in their life. They are just happy with themselves and keep doing what makes them the happiest.
Now, let’s talk about the true feeling of attachment. Let me tell you it is very rare. If you get attached to someone who knows you the best and is always there for you to listen to you, to help you and to love you for who you are, it automatically brings a change in you. Not just that you get happy but at large you start feeling confident and you believe in yourself more than before. You tend to learn and grow faster. Your understanding becomes better and better and you take a step forward to do things you have never tried before. There’s a very strong feeling of belief, love, and happiness. You keep dreaming and stop worrying. You share your happiness and your problems. Every morning you wake up with a new hope that something good is going to happen. A sense of happiness and freedom to do what you want and love is born. Don’t hesitate or worry about problems.
And then there’s a bad attachment which brings a lot of trouble in your life and at times you don’t even realize it. As I said above that everybody has different reasons to attach and basically they try to fill in the void they lack. They expect others to fill in so that they can be happy and in all this, they end up taking a wrong decision where they become a slave to the person they’re attached to. They can do anything to have that person in their life, this is when the person takes advantage and tries to bully you, waste your time and fulfill their wishes by dictating you.
Attachment and bonding are great feelings but don’t let anyone ruin your experience and perhaps choose people wisely in the first place.